Whistler Question
Same-sex couples wed in Whistler Feature Story Gay partners from Washington, Alaska use coin flip to decide which couple should be joined first - Nicole Davis
When they first planned their trip to Whistler, Gary Gardner and Tony Gilkinson had no idea that they would also celebrate their wedding.
But after the July 8 decision by the B.C. Court of Appeal to lift a court-imposed one-year moratorium on same-sex marriages, Gardiner and Gilkinson phoned their friends, Kirt Beck and Roger Crandy, and the four decided to get married and celebrate in Whistler.
On Monday, the two couples were officially married by Marriage Commissioner Louise Zinsli.
“We’ve considered ourselves married ever since the day that we did our own vows even though it wasn’t legally recognized. Now, it’s incredible, very cool,” Beck said.
Since they knew they were to be the first two same-sex weddings to take place in Whistler, the decision as to who would actually be the first was decided through the execution of another time-honored tradition — flipping a coin.
“We used a toonie — and all of us are rather large guys with beards and we’re rather bearish — so there’s the bear on one side and the Queen on the other side. Kirt called the Queen,” Gardner said with a laugh.
Beck and Crandy thus became the first same-sex couple to be united in Whistler. Each couple witnessed the other’s ceremony on Monday morning on Whistler Mountain, and none could find fault with the experience.
When she first got the call from Gilkinson about the weddings, Zinsli didn’t know they were same-sex couples. When Gilkinson called back the second time, he mentioned it to her, and she jumped at the chance.
“Louise didn’t shy away. She totally wanted to do it,” Gilkinson said.
Zinsli was worried about the wording of the marriage document, which is decidedly heterosexual, using the words “bride” and “bridegroom.”
“I had a phobia of being insensitive with the wording, but we used ‘union’ instead of ‘marriage’ and at the end I pronounced them ‘wed ded partners for life,’ ” she said. “I’m glad I had the opportunity because a week ago I was coming to terms with it and they certainly helped me with that.”
“The attitude at the RMOW (Resort Municipality of Whistler) and elsewhere — they were as excited as we were,” Gardner said.
Both couples, each together for seven years, are Americans. Gardner and Gilkinson are from Washington state. Beck and Crandy are from Alaska. The fact that their marriages are recognized here but not in their home states is a painful reminder for the couples that they are sometimes not seen as such.
“Where it’s not legal, all he is to me is a roommate,” Gilkinson said of Gardner.
For the four, the recognition in society is what makes a same-sex marriage equal to that of a heterosexual marriage. Even though they were only married this week, they have been planning on being together for the past seven years, in ways that homosexual couples could do before the laws were changed. They did that by putting assets into b oth their names and including each other in their wills.
“Tony and I have taken great pains to do all the legal stuff so that if one of us dies the house goes to the other,” Gardner said.
All four men agreed that having the right to be married in a legally recognized ceremony should help same-sex couples feel better about themselves.
“Being gay, even in this day and age, you’re still a second-class citizen, and to have the authority of a society to say you’re not a second-class person means a lot,” Gardner said. “It is a very humbling experience to have the Province of B.C. and the Government of Canada, the people of Canada, recognize and value our relationship.”
Whistler Question - July 24th 2003
