Anchorage Daily News
Canadian vowsTwo couples are among the first to take advantage of same-sex marriage law
By S.J. KOMARNITSKYAnchorage Daily News
Many couples go to great lengths to get married. Dan Carter and Al Incontro had to leave the country.
Last week, the two men and another Anchorage couple, Roger Crandy, 35, and Kirt Beck, 36, journeyed to Canada to exchange vows.
Carter, 56, and Incontro, 72, were married Tuesday at a park in Vancouver. Crandy and Beck wed Monday on the top of Whistler Mountain in British Columbia. Everything was sanctioned by law, and the Whistler Mountain ceremony was featured on the front page of the local paper.
The couples were among some of the first to take advantage of Canada's recent move to recognize same-sex marriages. They may be the first Alaskan couples to do so.
On Saturday, all four were back in Alaska to attend a reception thrown for Incontro and Carter at the Immanuel Presbyterian Church in Anchorage. Joined by about 50 friends and surrounded by rainbow-colored decorations, the couples celebrated their recent unions and talked about their decision to go abroad to get married.
The four men said they wanted their commitment to each other officially sanctioned, which was not possible in Alaska where same-sex marriages are not legally recognized.
"It's more than the ring. It's more than the (piece of) paper. It's a recognition of our relationship that's important," said Carter, who broke into tears describing the experience.
Both couples have been together for years.
Incontro, a retired IBM administrator, and Carter, a retired municipal employee, have been living with each other for 34 years. Crandy, an engineering draftsman, and Beck, computer network manager for Life Alaska Transplant Inc., have been together for seven years.
Both couples had previously exchanged vows in private ceremonies, but those vows lack legal standing. The couples can not file tax returns jointly, sign up for a joint membership at a health club or even put married as their status on forms at hospitals. During a recent hospital stay in Anchorage, Incontro said he had to list himself as single.
Although their unions still won't be recognized in Alaska, Crandy said being married has already changed his relationship in small but vital ways.
"It's neat to tell people officially, legally, he's my husband," he said.
All four said they hope Canada's move will spark other countries, including the United States, to adopt laws legalizing gay marriage.
In Alaska, voters passed a constitutional amendment in 1998 defining marriage as an institution between one man and one woman. The amendment was proposed after a gay couple sued to get a marriage license.
"It's just crazy," Crandy said. "You can't stop us from living together and being together in our minds."
That sentiment was shared by those at the church Saturday, which included friends, co-workers and several other gay couples. Many applauded the four for their courage, and Canada was widely praised. One man jokingly suggested the group sing the country's national anthem, sparking a mass rendition of a few refrains of "O Canada!"
All four men said they were surprised by the friendly reception they received in the country. Carter described talking to a man at a fair. When they told him they came to Canada to get married, the man asked which one was getting wed. After a half second pause, the man realized the two men were getting married. "That's wonderful," he told them.
"That's not a response I would have expected from everyone in Anchorage," Carter said.
Beck and Crandy said people in Whistler were enthusiastic. At the community hall, workers held an office pool to see who would sign the marriage license, Crandy said.
Incontro said he's looking forward to some of the small changes he can make since the two got married. At the doctor's office, he can now circle married and, if anyone asks, he can produce the marriage certificate. At least, he'll be able to do that soon. The certificate is on hold for now because the province is redoing the forms, which currently read "bride and groom." They will now read spouse and spouse, he said.
Reporter S.J. Komarnitsky can be reached at 352-6714.
Anchorage Daily News - July 27th 2003
